Yes, now it can be revealed... this is what I really look like... My mother was exposed to toxic waste from a leaky refrigerator while pregnant with me. We joined a travelling circus, and I was one of the star attractions of the sideshow. I started drawing at an early age, scribbling on the backs of empty cotton candy boxes and hot dog wrappers. Now, as a world-famous ultra-wealthy artist, I can afford to create in seclusion, and when I do make my rare ventures out into the public eye, I have a series of prosthetic devices and latex attachments, created by Hollywood effects wizards, that allow me to appear as normal as the next guy...