The Tarot Court

(Written as part of a self-promtional campaign for my astrology and tarot reading business.)

I am the King of Wands
and I am the keeper of the fire.
This fire burns in the furnace of my chest.
It burns with the desire to see you win!
And the fiery stovetop of my mind
pops the popcorn of truth
into your eager, open souls.

I am the Queen of Wands.
Look at all my pretty sunflowers;
no two kernels are alike.
I cradle you in my lap
and you know that you are unique;
unlike anything else
that has ever grown from the soil.

I am the Knight of Wands
and I'll be your champion,
and when the jousting knocks us down,
we can all have a big laugh
at just how silly the whole thing was.
And then I'll bandage all your bumps and bruises
and send you off to the next tournament.

I am the Page of Wands.
I am the blacksmith's apprentice.
I have very little experience,
but I'm learning.
When the blacksmith loses his temper,
and throws his tools down in anger,
he looks at me and smiles
and says "Oh, what a fool I've been."

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I am the King of Cups.
When you're feeling dejected,
I march you over to your mirror,
and wipe away the condensation
made by your heavy breath,
so that you can clearly see
that you have always been
the perfect, quintessential you.

I am the Queen of Cups.
Tell me where it hurts;
I really want to know.
I've got an enormous bathtub for you to soak in,
and I'll get into the water with you
and I'll sing you to sleep
while bullfrogs croak their contentment
and crickets chirp their good cheer.

I am the Knight of Cups
Have you been bullied?
Wait right there while I go and find the scoundrels
and make them apologize.
Don't they know that the hearts they've stuffed
into those hard tortoise shells
are still just as fragile on the inside?

I am the Page of Cups.
I dip my toes into the whirlpool of love.
Will I have a wild adventure
or get sucked into the abyss?
I cling to the object of my affection
until I see the offerings the ocean has provided me.
I never could have imagined
all the strange and wonderful creatures
swimming in her depths.

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I am the King of Swords
And yes, my glasses are a barometer
of my intelligence.
If you are in doubt or uncertain,
I will clarify your position
And show you which squares to jump for a checkmate.
and where to plug your cords and gear
into the humming amp of the zeitgeist.

I am the Queen of Swords.
The spirit of the law is my welcome guest,
lounging on my pillows
and sipping my wine.
The letter of the law stands outside my door,
and although I politely accept his memorandums,
I usually just leave them
on the table in the hall.

I am the Knight of Swords.
I will advocate for you
in the court of collective balderdash and claptrap.
With my trenchant blade
I slash through the paper dragons
of disingenuousness.
Your thoughts are real and your opinions matter,
And I will lift them up above
the societal sinkhole of absurdity.

I am the Page of Swords.
I don't really know what I'm talking about
but that's okay.
My brain is still a small, pink, featherless baby bird,
and my eyes have not yet crusted over.
But... actually,
your authoritative grown-up rigidity
might really benefit from nirvana in a wildflower
and eternity in a grain of sand.

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I am the King of Pentacles.
Grab those boards and that hammer
and that box of nails.
We're going to build a cozy, little house
way up in the treetops for you to live in.
And don't worry about food;
there are plenty of berries and wild oats,
and the bears will bring you honey by day,
and the foxes will leave you
fresh-killed poultry by night.

I am the Queen of Pentacles.
Let me feel your forehead.
You're very warm -
Why don't you lay down in my bed of straw.
The Earth has schooled me in all of it's creations.
I'm going to take this jar of liquid
And add some of these flowers
and some of these bones
and you'll drink it down,
and when you awake,
you'll be whole and flawless and pristine once again.

I am the Knight of Pentacles
We're in dangerous territory, but don't worry;
I know where all the hidden trails are,
and, if worse comes to worse,
I'm an excellent fighter.
And if we need a shelter for the night,
I know how to make one.
And if we have to sleep here in our exposed vulnerability,
the forest, our mother, will protect us.

I am the Page of Pentacles
and I am a novice.
I am learning many, many things:
how to craft a bowl out of clay,
how to weave a net to stop the mosquitoes,
how to make beer out of hops and barley.
And my bowl might leak,
and my net might have holes,
and my beer might be bitter,
but I'll keep on trying
until I get it right.

David Aronson